on nothing in particular.

Chantal and I went for a walk today. It was really nice. We both want to lose a little weight so it was nice just to get out and get exercise. It has been fun to stay the week with the Bassham's. They are both really funny and keep me entertained.
My friend Isaac was here for A day. He lives in The Dalles. I have for the last week or so been talking to him about Calvinism. I have just been showing him verses that support certain points. He gets really defensive. I try really hard to not argue with him. I just want to discuss it. Hopefully it will get him thinking. I have just as of late, due to certain books that have been recommended me by Ryan, really grasping the idea of God's sovereignty. Sure I believed the God is sovereign. But really deepening my understanding of this aspect of God. He asked me why I was so intent on getting him to think on it. I just love how it has strengthened my relationship. It gives every aspect of my walk more fulfillment.
Last night I hung out with a friend. She went to master's and I have been thinking about going there in a year. I wanted to get some insight in to the school. She loved it. Master's is really expensive but it is really quality college. I guess I am just thinking out loud. I just don't know...
Well something to pray about. I really don't have that much to blog about but I want to get better at writing more posts. So this one is all over the place. Nothing that exciting has happened in my life since two days ago. Something to leave you with. I am right now wearing a Tye dye headband. :)

Am I losing my keys or my mind.

Well This will be really short! I stayed the night at Ryan and Amy's house last night. Ryan brought me to my car this morning and guess where my key are. Well at Ryan and Amy's house. Sometimes i frustrate myself more than anyone else can. Maybe someday I will become less of an air head and stop forgetting everything everywhere.

Boast in the Lord.

I feel as if every time I write something new it is an update on my life. But thankfully these last couple of days have been pretty quiet.
Yesterday I was reading First Corinthians. I have been until yesterday just reading the Old Testament. But I was having a hard time getting application out of the genealogies in First Chronicles. :)
I love Paul's letters and especially First and Second Corinthians. I have a reference to First Corinthians tattooed on my arm. Much to the chagrin of many people I know. :)
Well I read the first chapter several times through. "But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen the things that are not so that he may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. But that by his doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that just as it is written 'Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord.'" I Corinthians 1:26-31
If you want to be humbled before the Lord just read that passage a couple times through. In some way it is hard knowing how small you are. But then I also find it reassuring that no matter how small I am God is that much bigger. We don't have to measure ourselves by our own abilities anymore we can measure them through Christ. I just love that in on instance this verse is letting us know how weak we really are but then also challenging us to trust in the power of God.
"The foolishness of God is wiser than men and the weakness of God is stronger than men."I Corinthians 1:25. This whole passage is leading Paul to something in Chapter 2. "And when I come to you brethren, I did not come with superiority of speech or of wisdom, proclaiming to you the testimony of God. For I determined to know nothing among you but Jesus Christ and Him crucified." All Paul needed to know was Christ. He didn't need to know how to be a great orator or preacher. All he wanted to know was Jesus! I am prayerfully trying to change my focus from myself and my own abilities and rest them all on God and His abilities. I will always fail without him. Not necessarily outwardly but because without Jesus nothing else matters.

I must also give thanks to Jerry Bridges. I am reading The Discilplines of Grace by him. Many of my thoughts are stemming from this book.

And We Know...

Okay so I moved back in to my mother's house and before I could catch my breath was moving back out. My mom was growing Illegal substances in her backyard and since I didn't want to be party to that I decided to move out. Thanks Ryan for talking me through it. It didn't really hit me until Tuesday last week. My mom is just like that but this is not something that I can just right off as her being crazy. So as I told Ryan, God took my back up plan and challenged me to put my trust in him to the test once again.
I am grateful that I am growing through this. Some areas in my life I have no problem trusting God in but other areas I fail miserably. The same day that it hit me that I would have to move out I was reading about Elijah. I was astounded because He did trust God completely in some ways. When he was challenging the Priest of Baal to a test about whose God could start the fire. When it came time for Elijah to call on God to send fire from heaven he dumped tons of water on the altar. He knew that God would have no problem sending fire down no matter what was on the altar. But in the next Chapter he is asking God to kill him because he is so upset that his enemies were chasing him. What a contrast! Even amidst Elijah's doubt God sends and Angel to take care of him. What a picture of my life right now. Even while I am doubting Him he is taking care of me. I know that I have an amazing church family who will help me out. But sometimes I just want a normal family.
I am staying at Chantal and Justin's house this week. They graciously let me use their spare bedroom. Until this morning I didn't know where I would stay at the end of this week. Well the answer came this morning. My friend Addie said I could stay with her and her parents this summer. She lives in Auburn. Addie and I lived together at Ecola and I can move in next week. It is of course completely perfect. Thanks God! Still pray that I will find something come August or September. Here is a verse that I have been contemplating this week:
"And we know, that God causes all things to work together for Good to those that love God, to those that are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
What blows me away are the first three words. "And we know..." I pray that I can always have the same assurance that God will work together all things for good. That in times of trials I will automatically completely trust Him.

Hello Again!

Okay so it has been way too long since my last post. Life has been busy. Well to exscuse my lack of writing my mom's internet has been down. I am now staying at my mom's house. My grandma asked me to move out last thursday. So i packed up and left. My grandma said that she didn't like the way that I live my life. All I do is hang out and I live a very unintentional life. After reflection and prayer I can see why my grandma would think that. From a non beleievers stand point, my life would be very pointless. I tried to explain that I do not base what I choose to do with my life on her opinion but rather on God's. It is funny to me that she saw my life as unintentional because I strive to be so intentional about the way that I live. I try to actively pursue Christ. But if Christ isn't apart of your life it would seem foolishness.
If you remember please pray for me. I don't know how long I will be able to stand living at my mom's. Pray that I will find somewhere else to live and that I will trust God in all that I do.
I'll leave you with a a few verses that seem to be what I am always contemplating.
"Consider it all joy my bretheren when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance and let endurance have it's perfect result so that you will be perfect and complete lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4

Unconditional.

I wrote this poem several years ago just thought I qould share it. It is pretty hard for me to share my poems but I hope you enjoy it. :)
This poem was written for my Savior and God.

You love me, I deny You,
Your arms reach out to embrace me,
I turn away and run to the world.
You gave your life to me and I give you what's left.
You love me unconditionally, my love has conditions.
Your heart weeps for me, My heart hardens towards you.
I beg for forgivness and you grant me pardon.
You give me peace and I rejoice in Your love.
You give me the strength to do your will.
I fall and fall and fall and you pick up the pieces and make me whole.