Off to Portland

I am leaving tomorrow for a super last minute trip to Portland. I have been having a rough time lately dealing with some things. I am just looking forward to spending time with some dear friends and getting some perspective. Well Just wanted to let everyone know where I was. I'll be back in Wednesday. Pray for me if you remember. I really need it right now. 

"In time of prosperity be happy, But in times of adversity consider this, that God has made the one as well as the other." Ecclesiastes 7:14

Processed.

Hm well I have some strange and exciting news. My dad had a kid before before I was born and because of extenuating circumstances he was put up for adoption. I call him my Dad's love child. He is three months older than my brother Chad. I think you can put two and two together. 

I knew about him since I was sixteen. I thought about the possibility of meeting him someday, well someday is soon. He contacted my dad last week before he left for AZ.  He lives in Kennewick. He has a daughter. So I guess I have a niece as well as a nephew. He looks like Chad. He was out up for adoption when he was two. I was a new born so I obviously have no recollection of him. His name is Kevin. My mom didn't want to raise him so my Dad gave him up. 

I feel guilty. I had our dad in my life. To me my dad was my hero growing up. The perfect image of what I thought a dad should be. I am not judging my Dad in his choice. Rather I wonder why I had him there for me, supporting me and loving me and Kevin didn't. I want to know Kevin. I feel burdened for him. I know nothing about his life. I know nothing about him. 

I think my dad must feel remorse. The person I know as my Dad wouldn't give up his children. What made me more important then Kevin? 

Once again the Lord has brought me to a place where all I can do is trust him. It's what it always comes down to for me. God is always asking me to trust Him fully. I know God is sovereign. He is always beckoning me to take my trust to the next level. Am I fully relying on God. I don't think I am. My first reaction was not to pray. My first thought was not that God is omniscient. As I write this it helps me see God in it. I am processing and learning to trust. 

I didn't want this to affect me. I wanted to cover my feeling with humor and not let people see that I am hurting. If I am overwhelmed than Kevin is probably much more so. I don't think that he is a believer. So pleas pray for him. That he could deal with all of this in a way that brings him closer to God. Hm what a week, what a week. 

Wherever you are...

I am sitting in my room and looking down in to the valley. What a wonderful view that greets me each morning. I feel happier this morning than I have in a long time. I feel relaxed and at peace with the world. 

The sun is shining and birds are chirping. It sounds a little like a episode of Mr. Rodgers.  My mind has been reflective lately. Maybe because I have lived in one state for a whole year! While I haven't lived in one town for more than three month intervals. The ways of a wanderer have grown on me and In my soul I fell the wind pulling me to other parts of the world. I want to experience life outside of this culture. I desire to see others live their lives in a foreign way to me and learn to love that way of life. 

I know in my head that God has provided for me here and I am thankful for that provision. I have a beautiful house, two jobs and great friends. 

Partly I am afraid that if I stay here too long I will become complacent and never live anywhere else. I will remain my whole life in one city and will just remember the dreams I once had of going other places. 

As I end this post this quote from John Elliot came to me."Wherever you are be all there, Live to the hilt every situation that you believe to be the will of God."

So while I am having feelings of discontentment, God is faithful to me. What a good reminder to be present where God has you. I will continue to work on being satisfied with where God has me in life. 

my week overview

Well I finally know what is wrong with me. Well at least concerning my health! I have something called Gurd. So I just have to take Prilosec for a month. So praise God that it is nothing serious.

I went to a Casting Crowns concert this week. Edi took me with her. It was really fun. It was kind of weird but while we were hanging out at the fair before the concert the band members were just walking around. Edi recognized them. So I went up to them and got their autographs. It was a neat experience. Nobody else noticed them but after I went up and met them then a group of people started taking pictures with them. We had earthquake burgers and I had a scone of course. It was a really good fair experience. We were there just the right amount of time. Thanks Edi for taking me.!

I am now working at the coffee shop that I was volunteering for. I had my training this week. It is nice to be working more. The people that work there are really great and it makes for a fun work environment. So I will be working alot more. My hours at Poverty Bay are picking up and then I will be working two days a week and Beyond the Bridge. You should come visit me. I work tuesday nights and sunday afternoons. It is in the Old Cannery parking lot.

I moved in to the Oldright's grandma's house. Jill and I got our stuff in on tuesday. It is sooooooooo nice to have a bedroom. I have a walk in closet and a huge bath tub. I am so spoiled. I am so thankful for God's amazing provisions in my life. I put all my books on my book shelf and hung all my clothes up. It may seem mundane to you but it was really exciting for me. My room is still clean and it has been two days since I unpacked. If you know me at all you know that it is a miracle. I have decided to try and be organized. You can pray for me. I don't like organization! :)

Uhhh I have more to write about but this is already too long. Well sorry my posts are so inconsistent. I am going to get better. Once I have my own computer I will post more. Hey I am getting so good at this blog lingo. I didn't even have to think about calling it posts insead of blogs. :) Jenaya

Chantal's Blog

Hey everyone! My dear friend Chantal has decided to get a blog. You may remember that Rachel and I were going to write a blog about Chantal but that only lasted about a week. This is a blog that Chantal started all on her own. If you don't know chantal you should . She is one of the funniest people I know. I tell her she is my entertainment in life. She is a good listener and talker. :) I think that you will really enjoy her blog. So check it out! anewcreationinjesus.blogspot.com
Update on my sickness all is the same not worse not better. Thank you to all the great friends that I have praying for me. I really appreciate it. Even Rylie decided to pray for me all on her own. I am so blessed to have friends that care so much. Well I love all of you and

update on health

Real quick. I got a blood test back today and everything is normal. I feel like I was just faking it and being overly dramatic. :) But I am feeling better today. Maybe God just miraculously healed me. This way I didn't have to get surgery. :) Well thanks to everyone for the prayers and concern. I Love all of you and am thankful for your support in my life. 

God is Sovereign and Massages are nice.

Well I went to the ER yesterday. Jani took me to Tacoma General. I was poke and prodded for like five hours and at the end of the day I still don't know what is going on. My stomach has been hurting for like a month. I was put on a low fat diet and told to drink lots of water. 

I was pretty upset yesterday. I ate a hot dog and had chips and basically rebelled against the diet. I payed for it later. :) But today after prayer and reflection. I am happy that I don't have to have my gall bladder out. I know that I don't have an ulcer. God is sovereign and is in control of what goes on in my body. He knows what is wrong. 

God is so faithful in reminding me to trust in him for everything. Time after time he teaches me to trust him in everything. Every time I forget he uses something in my life to show his control in my life. No matter what I am going through God is faithful. He has proven that He can provide me a beautiful house to live in, a job, a surrogate family and now I am learning to trust that God can heal me if he chooses or give the doctors wisdom to discern what it is that is ailing my body. Thank you for those who have shown concern and been praying for me. 

On a different note Jill and I went for massages today for her birthday. It was the most wonderful hour of my life. I feel so relaxed and at peace. I have lots of tension in my back. It was sooooooo nice. The massage therapist was awesome. I feel all wiggly and out of it so I hope this post makes sense. 

life

Well I haven't really written anything lately. I have just been posting pictures. They take less time. Not that I have been busy I have just not had anytime in front of the computer.
Well what is new with me. I registered for classes at Green River Community College. I am taking History, Math and College Writing. Should be fun. I am just trying to figure out how to pay for it now. With only minimal hours at work.
I have been going to this coffee shop in Sumner called Beyond the Bridge Cafe. I go in there almost everyday. The owners and most of the employees are Christian so I have become friends with them. They are struggling to keep their business afloat and the asked me if I wanted to volunteer their during events and such. Since I have no life and I really like the coffee shop I agreed. :) So you should go get some excellent coffee. It is in the Old Cannery parking lot. :)
Jill and I having been working out together. We are doing this deck of cards workout. It is kicking my butt. You go through a deck of cards and the red is push ups and black is sit ups. You do the number of sit ups or push ups on the card. We did it on Sunday and we only got through just over half the deck. We have been doing Pilates too. That is a little less intense but still good. Well I hope that this satisfies everyone who bugs me about my lack of posts. (Not blogs.. Right Amy and Ryan???)
Have a good day.

Cannon Beach, Cannon Beach and more Cannon Beach.

These are pictures from my last two visits to Cannon Beach.

Becky and I crashed the Woods vacation at the Oldright's cabin. We had amazing enchiladas made by Amy. Ryan taught me how to skip rocks. It was fun. Hope you enjoy the pictures.

My little nephew Gavin Joseph Born 9/29....

Discipline and Dependence.

I am reading the Disciplines of Grace by Jerry Bridges. I was reading about discipline and dependence. Bridges paraphrases 1 Corintians 3:7 which says: "So that neither the one who plants or the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth." Paul meant this in reference to ministry and that is always how I have read it. But when you apply it to your life it is a good reminder that God is the one who causes growth for your spiritual life. He talks of two extremes. One is being passive in your walk with God. Expecting growth with no effort. Bridges writes, "The Holy Spirit does not do the work for us; rather he enables us to do the work. We often use the expression 'Let the Lord live His life through me.' I am personally uncomfortable with this expression because it suggests passivity on our part. He does not live his life through me. Rather, as I depend on Him, He enables me to live a life pleasing to Him."

What an excellent reminder to not become passive with our faith. John Owen also puts it well. He says: " But out duty and out Grace are nowhere opposed in the matter of sanctification; for the on absolutely supposes the other. We cannot perform our duty without the grace of God; nor does God give his grace other than to perform our duty." We can rely on God completely while still putting work in to our spiritual walk.  

Another way is that we depend to much in spiritual disciplines. I think that I lean more in this area. While reading your bible and praying are wonderful things to be doing the act itself is not what causes growth. Like i said before it is God who causes the growth. We can be reading our bibles and praying all we want but if God is not in the equation nothing will happen. Bridges says " But those disciplines are not the source of our spiritual strength. The Lord Jesus Christ is, and the ministry of the Holy Spirit to apply the strength to our lives. This goes back to 1 Corinthians, we can plant and we can water but God causes the growth. This is such a good reminder in two ways. One to be completely and humbly surrender to our Lord. To be wholly dependent on him for everything, especially our spiritual growth. Second to not be lax about our faith. To always be striving to know God better. I am so thankful for this simple yet profound reminder to rely fully on God. 

While not putting it this way I think that if I follow a set mandate for spiritual growth then I will grow. I realized through reading this chapter that I do not rely fully on God for spiritual strength. I in essence rely on myself. Because I am the one deciding to read my bible and pray. Bridges tells How Jonathan Edwards had seventy resolutions to govern his spiritual conduct. Talk about being disciplined but at the beginning of his resolutions he wrote this:

. " Being sensible that I am unable to do anything without God's help, I do humbly entreat him, by his grace to enable me to keep these resolutions, so far as they are agreeable to his will for Christ's sake." Jonathan Edwards. 

I am humbly entreating God to enable me to be more disciplined with full reliance on Him. 

updates on my life.

Wow! It has been a really long time since my last post. Well I went to Arizona to see my folks. I had a really nice time. It was culture shock because their was like 15 people staying in the same house. I have had my brother Bryan with me this week. He is visiting from Arizona. Also been an adjustment because I am so used to doing my own thing by myself mostly and then all of a sudden I have this fifteen year old boy with me all the time. Don't get me wrong I have really enjoyed spending time with Bryan. It has been good to get to know him again. I am used to being the orphan wandering around from house to house. With a fifteen year old that is hard. :)
I am house sitting for the Lents this month. I am horrible allergic to something in their house. I have been sick since I got their. It sucks! Well this is short and I will hopefully post something again soon.

hmmm...

I really appreciated Ryan's sermon on Sunday. I think that I needed to be reminded that no one is out of reach for God's grace. Sometimes I see how far away some of the people I love are from God and think that they will never come into a right relationship with God. But I need to consider more that it is only through God's grace that I am walking with Him. He is the one that draws me to him each day. I should be thankful for the amazingness of that. I did not on my own accord decide to follow Jesus. I think that is something that, while I know, I should be living out more. Just because outwardly I seem to be taking all the right steps toward God, sometimes inwardly, I am in rebellion to my Savior. I am, without God's ,no better than the worst of sinners. I get so caught up in making sure that everyone thinks I am doing right, that I forget to actually check myself and make sure that I am doing it all for God's glory and not my own. I also get jealous of families that have such great relationships with eachother. I am frustrated with the fact that I am a part of a family that is so disconnected. All of this to say I am not having a thankful heart. Sure sometimes I do but alot I don't.
I want to do ALL things for God's glory. So when I pray for my friends and family I want to do that out of a true concern for their souls and not because it is what I should do. I want to be honest with my own sinfullness so that I can be more in tune with God's grace. I want to be painful aware when I am doing things to please others and not God so that I can ask God to re focus my attention back to his Kingdom. I want to never forget the wrath that God took me away from so that I can be constantly thankful for his Son. I am sick so my head is foggy so I hope this makes some amount of sense.
I will leave you with a verse I have been thinking on lately.
"For the mind set on the flesh is death but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace."
Romans 8:6

Pictures from my day at the zoo!

Some of these are just of the cute animals and some are of the cute kids. The one of Rylie and Me by the polar bear is funny because I squatted down to be on her level but then she squatted down like me. Thanks Amy for the picutres! Again I had fun! Thanks Angela for inviting me and getting me in for free! Well hope you like to pictures.

Musing from my busy life!

Well today I went to the zoo with Amy, Angela and their respective children. It was really fun. I think that I ended up playing with Keagan and Rylie more than hanging out with Amy and Angela. It was fun though to see the kids excitement over the animals. I saw this lady who come to my coffee shop regularly and she thought Rylie was my daughter. This proves my point that I look thirty. Now their is nothing wrong with looking thirty but when you are twenty-one you want to look you age. 

I am soooooo busy this week. I thought that I would have tons of free time but as it turns out I have almost no free time this week. I have managed to fill up everyday with stuff to do. Maybe there is a reason why I had this week off. I was really irritated at first that I wasn't getting that many hours but it seems that God knew that I needed time to get stuff done. I have orientation on friday to start school at Green River on Monday. I have to take my compass test and actually apply! :) I don't even know for sure what classes I will be taking. I don't procrastinate or anything. :) I actually should get an award for being the biggest procrastinator on the face of the planet. 

Last night Jill and I went to Shenanigan's on the waterfront in Tacoma. Their desserts are super yummy and only two dollars. We walked up and down the waterfront. It was really nice. We talked about school and favorite authors. It was a good time. I worked out last night while I was watching this lifetime original movie called Fat Like Me. This girl who is a skinny jock goes undercover as a fat person for a school project. It was a good motivator while I was working out. 

David Johnny and I went to lunch on tuesday and we mapped out some activities and such for the summer. We are going to have a movie night at the church on the lawn. We were trying to decide what movie we would play. I suggested Enchanted and they wanted to watch Lord of the Rings, and any other guy movie you could possibly imagine. I also thought that Pride and Prejudice was a great movie too! :) Well I think we decided that they would choose a guy movie and I would choose the girl movie and we would show both. 

I got the rest of my stuff from my grandma's house today. See what I mean about being busy and on Monday I had dinner at Aaron and Becky's house. Usually I have maybe one or two things going on in one week. I have like three things everyday! It is nice to be busy but I just don't do well with a full calendar. What am I going to do once school starts! Oh man if I ever get married and have kids I don't know how I will handle it. That's probably why I'll be single forever. I can only handle myself. I am alot to handle. :) Ryan says that is why I have to get married because I need someone to keep me together. Well I must go I am off to the Lent's to learn how to mow the lawn. :) 

Risk, the game of world domination!

I am trying to memorize Romans 8.  I have about the first 8 verses down-ish.  I have only been saying them in my head. So If you see me ask me to say them to you. I really enjoy memorizing so I want to try and do it more. 

 I am at the Hood Canal right now with the Oldrights. We played Risk, the game of world domination. Johnny and I were the last two playing and we stopped for the night. Johnny said that he would be okay with saying that he won. But if you know me at all I will not give up a fight until I have absolutely lost! I told him that I would be okay with saying that I won. I played so much risk my student year at Ecola. Luke and his friend were always playing and since I was hanging out with Rachel and she was hanging out with Luke was always around a risk game. So I got a little practice. I am not much good still. The game is going to take forever because neither John and I have a strategy. 

Hopefully tomorrow is nice out. I want to not be cold for a whole day. I talked to my Dad today and he said that it was one hundred degrees out. Well I miss everyone who I won't see at Church. It is nice though that I don't have anything going on at Church. I won't know what to do with myself. No sunday school and no children's church. Weird. :) Well I have most of next week off so I am going to go down to Green River Community College and try and see if I qualify for free school. Angela, Amy and I are going to the zoo in wednesday. I am really excited! I haven't been to the zoo in years. It should be fun. hopefully I'll have pictures. I actually have quite a few things going on next week.

I went to the progressive dinner in friday. Jill came with me which was really nice. It was her first ladies activity. She and I had a great time. It has been nice to have another single girl my age around. Well I need to go to bed. Until next time. :)

As of lately.

Well I have been at the Oldright's house for one week. They haven't kicked me out yet!  YAY!!! No it has been really good. Everyone has been great. My last post has caused quite a stir! I won't go in to it. I think that God has predestined that I will not be mentioning the C word on my blog anymore. :)

My hours at work have been cut way back. Next week I only work 5 hours. That doesn't even pay for a tank of gas anymore! So I may look for another job. Becky and I went to coffee and dessert today. It was really nice to just sit and talk. I haven't seen much of The Blosser's lately and I miss them. :(

Rachel made some changes to her blog all by herself. This is a huge feat for her since she is not the most computer savvy person. You should probably congratulate her! Someday she will not have to call me every time she needs to change something on her blog. Until that day I remain her faithful and supportive technical support. 

I might be going to school this summer. Green River is offering free schooling to 250 students with low income. I definitely qualify! Especially since I am only working 5 hours. They pay for books and everything! It would be awesome if it worked out. I am praying that God's will be done.

Pastor David and I met for lunch today. We went over ideas and thoughts about the high school and college ministry. I am really excited to help out with both and to see how God uses David in our church. I have to go to bed now. I have to open tomorrow and wake up at 5AM!!!!

Ugh! 

Jenaya

Moving once again... :)

Well I decided to stay with the Oldrights for the month of June instead of my friend Addie. Jani offered to let me stay last sunday. I was having trouble deciding where to go. Both were good options. The Oldrights live closer to my work and church. Plus I know all of them fairly well. :) They have been really great. Jani has been making sure that I am comfortable and well fed. I was worried at first that I would be intruding on their family time but they have been welcoming and inviting. Jani says I fit in because my name starts with a 'J'. I guess Bob is the odd man out. :) 

After I am done house sitting for the Lents Bob and Jani asked me to house sit Bob's mom's house until it sells. Which is pretty awesome because It is huge for one and two I would be there all by myself. I have been longing lately to live by myself. I am sure after a little bit I might get lonely but Bob and Jani live a couple houses down. What an amazing answer to prayer. God has not only provided a place for me to stay but a mansion. Praise God for his continued provision. 

on nothing in particular.

Chantal and I went for a walk today. It was really nice. We both want to lose a little weight so it was nice just to get out and get exercise. It has been fun to stay the week with the Bassham's. They are both really funny and keep me entertained.
My friend Isaac was here for A day. He lives in The Dalles. I have for the last week or so been talking to him about Calvinism. I have just been showing him verses that support certain points. He gets really defensive. I try really hard to not argue with him. I just want to discuss it. Hopefully it will get him thinking. I have just as of late, due to certain books that have been recommended me by Ryan, really grasping the idea of God's sovereignty. Sure I believed the God is sovereign. But really deepening my understanding of this aspect of God. He asked me why I was so intent on getting him to think on it. I just love how it has strengthened my relationship. It gives every aspect of my walk more fulfillment.
Last night I hung out with a friend. She went to master's and I have been thinking about going there in a year. I wanted to get some insight in to the school. She loved it. Master's is really expensive but it is really quality college. I guess I am just thinking out loud. I just don't know...
Well something to pray about. I really don't have that much to blog about but I want to get better at writing more posts. So this one is all over the place. Nothing that exciting has happened in my life since two days ago. Something to leave you with. I am right now wearing a Tye dye headband. :)

Am I losing my keys or my mind.

Well This will be really short! I stayed the night at Ryan and Amy's house last night. Ryan brought me to my car this morning and guess where my key are. Well at Ryan and Amy's house. Sometimes i frustrate myself more than anyone else can. Maybe someday I will become less of an air head and stop forgetting everything everywhere.

Boast in the Lord.

I feel as if every time I write something new it is an update on my life. But thankfully these last couple of days have been pretty quiet.
Yesterday I was reading First Corinthians. I have been until yesterday just reading the Old Testament. But I was having a hard time getting application out of the genealogies in First Chronicles. :)
I love Paul's letters and especially First and Second Corinthians. I have a reference to First Corinthians tattooed on my arm. Much to the chagrin of many people I know. :)
Well I read the first chapter several times through. "But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen the things that are not so that he may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. But that by his doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that just as it is written 'Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord.'" I Corinthians 1:26-31
If you want to be humbled before the Lord just read that passage a couple times through. In some way it is hard knowing how small you are. But then I also find it reassuring that no matter how small I am God is that much bigger. We don't have to measure ourselves by our own abilities anymore we can measure them through Christ. I just love that in on instance this verse is letting us know how weak we really are but then also challenging us to trust in the power of God.
"The foolishness of God is wiser than men and the weakness of God is stronger than men."I Corinthians 1:25. This whole passage is leading Paul to something in Chapter 2. "And when I come to you brethren, I did not come with superiority of speech or of wisdom, proclaiming to you the testimony of God. For I determined to know nothing among you but Jesus Christ and Him crucified." All Paul needed to know was Christ. He didn't need to know how to be a great orator or preacher. All he wanted to know was Jesus! I am prayerfully trying to change my focus from myself and my own abilities and rest them all on God and His abilities. I will always fail without him. Not necessarily outwardly but because without Jesus nothing else matters.

I must also give thanks to Jerry Bridges. I am reading The Discilplines of Grace by him. Many of my thoughts are stemming from this book.

And We Know...

Okay so I moved back in to my mother's house and before I could catch my breath was moving back out. My mom was growing Illegal substances in her backyard and since I didn't want to be party to that I decided to move out. Thanks Ryan for talking me through it. It didn't really hit me until Tuesday last week. My mom is just like that but this is not something that I can just right off as her being crazy. So as I told Ryan, God took my back up plan and challenged me to put my trust in him to the test once again.
I am grateful that I am growing through this. Some areas in my life I have no problem trusting God in but other areas I fail miserably. The same day that it hit me that I would have to move out I was reading about Elijah. I was astounded because He did trust God completely in some ways. When he was challenging the Priest of Baal to a test about whose God could start the fire. When it came time for Elijah to call on God to send fire from heaven he dumped tons of water on the altar. He knew that God would have no problem sending fire down no matter what was on the altar. But in the next Chapter he is asking God to kill him because he is so upset that his enemies were chasing him. What a contrast! Even amidst Elijah's doubt God sends and Angel to take care of him. What a picture of my life right now. Even while I am doubting Him he is taking care of me. I know that I have an amazing church family who will help me out. But sometimes I just want a normal family.
I am staying at Chantal and Justin's house this week. They graciously let me use their spare bedroom. Until this morning I didn't know where I would stay at the end of this week. Well the answer came this morning. My friend Addie said I could stay with her and her parents this summer. She lives in Auburn. Addie and I lived together at Ecola and I can move in next week. It is of course completely perfect. Thanks God! Still pray that I will find something come August or September. Here is a verse that I have been contemplating this week:
"And we know, that God causes all things to work together for Good to those that love God, to those that are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
What blows me away are the first three words. "And we know..." I pray that I can always have the same assurance that God will work together all things for good. That in times of trials I will automatically completely trust Him.

Hello Again!

Okay so it has been way too long since my last post. Life has been busy. Well to exscuse my lack of writing my mom's internet has been down. I am now staying at my mom's house. My grandma asked me to move out last thursday. So i packed up and left. My grandma said that she didn't like the way that I live my life. All I do is hang out and I live a very unintentional life. After reflection and prayer I can see why my grandma would think that. From a non beleievers stand point, my life would be very pointless. I tried to explain that I do not base what I choose to do with my life on her opinion but rather on God's. It is funny to me that she saw my life as unintentional because I strive to be so intentional about the way that I live. I try to actively pursue Christ. But if Christ isn't apart of your life it would seem foolishness.
If you remember please pray for me. I don't know how long I will be able to stand living at my mom's. Pray that I will find somewhere else to live and that I will trust God in all that I do.
I'll leave you with a a few verses that seem to be what I am always contemplating.
"Consider it all joy my bretheren when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance and let endurance have it's perfect result so that you will be perfect and complete lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4

Unconditional.

I wrote this poem several years ago just thought I qould share it. It is pretty hard for me to share my poems but I hope you enjoy it. :)
This poem was written for my Savior and God.

You love me, I deny You,
Your arms reach out to embrace me,
I turn away and run to the world.
You gave your life to me and I give you what's left.
You love me unconditionally, my love has conditions.
Your heart weeps for me, My heart hardens towards you.
I beg for forgivness and you grant me pardon.
You give me peace and I rejoice in Your love.
You give me the strength to do your will.
I fall and fall and fall and you pick up the pieces and make me whole.

Living A Cross Centered LIfe by C.J. Mahaney

Ryan recommended this book to me. Living a Cross Centered Life, by C.J. Mahaney, is an excellent book. I read three quarters of it today at work because it was terribly slow. I had ten customers over five hours. It would have been excruciating but I had this book in my purse that I had been slowly perusing over the last week. It was a real blessing to be able to read most of it today. I wanted to share some quotes from the book. Hopefully they will challenge you the way it did me. The book as the title stated is centered around the cross and how it should permeate our whole life.
I don't know how much of a flow this post will have. I may just throw some random quotes and you can think them over.
"The glory of the gospel is this: The one from whom we need to be saved is the one who saves us." R.C. Sproul
I really love this. I have never thought about it in that way. Isn't amazing that we have been saved. I have heard variations of people saying that throughout most of my life. But what have we been saved from? We have been saved from God's own wrath. "Only those aware of God's wrath can be amazed at God's grace." says Mahaney. In the same thought once we become aware of the punishment that we deserve from God, then and only then can we fully recognize our need for grace. But not only our need but the true extent of the grace that has been offered to us. This quote that Mahaney put in his book by John Stott is perfectly said, "Divine love triumphed over divine wrath, by divine self sacrifice." Jesus took our judgement! I think sometimes in the Christian life that we nullify the greatness of this because we hear it so much. But reading this book has shown me that we should fall on our knees and thank God for saving us from the wrath that we deserve. I have found new passion for the power of the cross through this book. Every time we hear the gospel message it should remind us of our sin that put Jesus there. "We may try to wash our hands of responsibility like Pilate, but out attempt would be futile, as futile as his. For there is blood on our hands." says John Stott. I don't know about you but that struck me right in my heart. Knowing fully that my sin is what caused Jesus to bleed. But also knowing that God caused that to happen because he loves us. So many verses point to God's love for us. I pondered this today was awestruck by it. Well I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to have a more cross centered life. Thanks Ryan for the suggesting the book and thanks to C.J. Mahaney for this wonderful book.
:) Jenaya

"The Office" Party!

Last Thursday a few of us "Office" fans got together to watch and celebrate that new episodes are finally back on NBC. The Blossers graciously had us over. Us being Chantal , Justin, Emily, Dave and Me. Chantal and Justin dressed up as Dwight and Angela. Becky was a number two pencil and I was Pam. Well here are some pictures. I hope you enjoy them.

First week of work...

Okay so the first week of work has been pretty tiring. Mostly because I was a bum for almost three months and it takes a little while to get used to being on your feet for eight hours a day. But I have been enjoying being productive. Also it is nice to be tired when I get in bed at night. Yesterday I took a 2 hour nap and then still went to bed at eleven. Becoming adjusted to two different stores is also a challenge. But hey what's life with out a little challenge right. :)
On a different note I have not stayed the night at my Grandma's house in almost five weeks! first I had no gas money, then I dog sat and house sat for the Allens and Carters. Now I have things going on every night this week, either at the church or The Blossers or funerals or work. So I don't know if you could say I live there anymore. I like to say that I am homeless and live out of my car. :) Well just wanted to update everyone on my life. :) Until next time.
Jenaya

I got a job!

Okay so good news, after almost three months of unemployment, I got a job! I am working at Forza again. If you didn't know I worked at a Forza in Bonney Lake. Forza is a coffe company. I am working at the one in top foods in puyallup and south hill. Thanks to all who have been praying! Now I am trying to adjust to being on my feet all day. Well just wanted to write something real quick to let anyone who didn't know yet. By the way I haven't been blogging because I am house sitting for the Carters and they don't have internet. :) Well I am off to work!!!! :)
Jenaya

My home in my heart. :)

So I went to Cannon Beach on Friday and Saturday. I had a really nice time. I can't believe it's been a week since I have been home. I learned two things while in Portland and Cannon Beach: I don't like Portland that much and I still absolutely love Cannon Beach.
Portland has this whole scene of people called hipsters and they are so annoying at times. They all wear grungy clothes listen to depressing music and never shower. At the beginning of the week I found myself inexplicable being drawn to this crowd of people. I wanted to fit in with everyone in the area. Then I realized I love being clean and happy.

The beach was as usual refreshing and relaxing. I miss the slow pace that Cannon Beach has. It has a whole flow of it's own and you either adjust or go crazy with boredom. At the end of my time at Ecola I found it most natural to laze about the beach. When I got back to real life I found it hard to adjust. Even now I hate having a jammed packed day of things to do. Pre - Ecola I was always on time or early. I have realized post- Ecola i am chronically late!
Whenever I am down there I feel just a smidgen closer to God. Most likely because that is where I fell in love with Him. My student year I spent it with God. Whether reading my Bible or spending whole days in prayer. What an amazing experience God used to draw me to him. My friend Krista explained Ecola in a way that I really liked. As we sat talking she mused that Ecola didn't make her perfect but rather made her more aware of what was displeasing to God. She compared herself to a clock. "Everything has shifted inside me, my inner workings are changed." I love the imagery she used. During Ecola my insides shifted.I can picture the the knobs and wheels all shifting inside of me slowly. I was also blessed with another year as an office intern. I always tell people that God knew I needed an extra year. A lot of times people think that they choose the interns who are most qualified but, the staff wants students who will grow from the experience. Who will not only encourage the students but will rely on God and not on there own qualifications. I was the test grader. A job that I am not made for. A test grader should be organized and efficient. I am neither. But neverless I was challenged to be an example to the students.
I have to remember though that just because I am out of "The green house" that I am still growing. During Ecola I had this huge spiritual growth spurt. I flourished in an environment away from the world. Who wouldn't right? But now that I am back home I can steadfastly grow closer to my Lord. It is so awesome to even be able to call the God of the Universe "MY LORD"! I am just blown away by that. There may be another time in my life where I will have another growth spurt, but until that time I will, Lord willing, keep growing at a slow and steady pace. Something that is on my heart from time to time is the students that are there now. Maybe while you're reading this pray that God continues to soften their heart towards him and directs where they go as they consider what to do next. Believe me when I tell you it is always a little bit hard to get your footing under you after leaving such a sheltered environment.
When I am trying to convince Chantal to go to Ecola she always patiently reminds me that God doesn't use Ecola in everyone lives. "People can grow outside of Ecola Jenaya" says Chantal, but boy am I thankful that God used Ecola in my life.
Sorry this is kind of long. I always reminisce about my time there after I come home from a visit. Hope you have a better insight a part of my heart. :)
Jenaya

Oatmeal, the homeless and friends.

I am really enjoying my time in Portland. Yesterday, my friend, Addison and I went to this cafe called Sip and Kranz. I got the best oatmeal I have ever had in my life. I also had a latte that was absolutely delicious. I went to my friend Karsten and Jon's house. They have this eclectic apartment. Most of their furniture is from a dumpster. We had tea and listened to good music. I am currently sitting in a coffee shop a block away from Addie's house.

Something to astonish those who know me I forgot to bring a book with me. Since I never leave the house without something to read this is a big deal. However addie's roommate Rachel lent me her book Under the Over Pass by Mike Yankoski It is about two guys who decide to be homeless for six months. They travel to six different cities spending about a month in each place. It is very interesting so far. It's a true story of two men who wanted to learn how to really live their faith and see how the homeless live. It gives so many examples of Christians who won't even look them in the eye. In their travels they encountered a man named George who the homeless people on San Fransisco call "the Jesus man". He came and brought pizza to the homeless. When asked why he did it this was his response: "I do this because my faith tells me to. The Bible clearly says, if you see someone hungry, feed them; if you see someone naked, clothe them. Those words weren't meant for us to make books and sermons about. They're written so people don't go hungry and naked. And they require action from all of Christ's followers, not just the rescue missions.... So I am trying to live my life that way and be pleasing to Jesus."
God has really been teaching about the excess in my life. Through not having a job, this book and God's word I have been learning that I live a privileged life. While I am not wealthy as some would consider wealth; I am blessed in so many ways. I have at most points in my life had a roof over my head and food to eat. I have more clothes than most and really amazing friends and family that surround me. Discontentment is something that sneaks up on you and taints everything in your life. I am learning as Paul did to "be content in all situations."

:)

Portland and Guitars.

I have arrived in Portland safe and sound. I got here at ten or so. I slept on something called a love sac. Basically it's a huge bean bag. It was quite comfortable.
Ryan will be happy to hear that this morning I am practicing the guitar. That G cord is giving me trouble though. I think my friend Millie's guitar is out of tune which is also causing me grief. :)
Oh good news, I had Rob, the owner of the Lakleland Hill Forza call me this morning to see if I could come in for an interview. I am going to call him when I get back into town. Yay! Hopefully this means the end of my 3 month unemployment. Well the guitar is beckoning me to practice more. :) Jenaya

Dog Sitting.

Monday I went to the Earman's house for Japanese food with their foreign exchange student. We had sushi! It was delicious!



Today i have the pleasure of watching the Allen's new puppy Joey. This super cute puppy follows you where ever you go. While I watched a movie he nuzzled into me and slept. It was a very relaxing day overall.
Before I knew i would be dog sitting Chantal and I had made plans to exercise today. Since I couldn't leave Joey we decided to take a walk around the block. The instant that Chantal saw Joey she fell in love. Well who wouldn't? (Save Amy and Ryan). He would not leave the yard unless we dragged him. So we gave in and carried him around. Who owns who again? :) As iI type this Joey is sleeping at my feet.
On a different note I am trying to recover from this cold that started out as a sore throat. It has been terrorizing me since Sunday.
You can pray for the Allen's. Tova isn't doing well, which is why I am dog sitting. Bob and Judi are at the hospital right now.
Jenaya

Chantal's Blog...

So Rachel and Me decided to start a blog for our friend Chantal. Rachel and Me will be writing on it. You should check out if you want. Okay that's all i got. Love Jenaya

Phones and Japanese Food!!!!

Well you are probably thinking what do Japanese food and phones have to do with eachother. Nothing! I left my phone in my pocket and it went threw the wash. Ummm if you know me I am sure that you are super surprised. I am usually so put together that i would never be that irresponsible! Okay i was being sarcastic. I've actually dropped my phone in the toilet a couple of years ago. I lost another phone on the side of the road in California. Another phone of mine, I lost the charger. I am not able to count how many times I have misplaced my phone.

Now on to Japanese food. Tomorrow night The Blosser and I are going to the Earman's house. Their Japanese exchange student is making us dinner. I am soooo excited! I love interesting food from other cultures. I will tell you how it goes.

I still don't have a job. Which sucks. I have barely any gas and bills due soon. I know God is faithful and will take care of me. Pray that I stop worrying. In my head I know that God will take care of me I just need it to transfer to my heart.
:) Jenaya

P.S. Anna Sophia is really cute and got to see her on Friday and today at night church. Amy and Ryan have the most adorable children. :)

summer...

It's a boy!!!!

My brother Chad's baby is a boy!!! Here is my little nephew. I am really looking forward to meeting him in June! They haven't even talked about boy names yet because Chad's wife Stacey was convinced it was a boy. Yay for babies!

Anna Sophia has arrived!!!!

Yay! Anna Sophia was born today at 6:59pm. Amy was so amazing and brave. I'm sure Amy and Ryan will have posts about it in the next couple of days so I won't say to much. :) But just thought everyone would be excited to know.

Resolutions.

Okay so I know that the new year has come and past. Resolutions at this point have been attempted then without little thought forgotten about. There are some things that I would like to be more consistent at. I would like to start working out more. Not because I am worried about my weight but because it is healthy and high cholesterol and heart problems run in my family. As a result i should probably keep my little heart healthy. I would also like to memorize more scripture. I am going to attempt to memorize five verses a week. If I succeed at the end of the week i will post them for all to see. If I fail I will post something about how much of a loser I am then anyone who reads this blog can give me grief about it.
One other thing is I am going to not eat sweets for a month. I did this last year around this time and thought it would be a beneficial endeavor. My friend Alexis and I are going to keep each other accountable. If anyone knows my flock group knows that it is infamous for the desserts so tonight could be trying. Well anyways just thought i would let everyone know. Well have a good week. :)

Chad's Wedding

A week ago from last Saturday, my brother, Chad got married. He got married to a girl named Stacey. If you are non familiar with my family my step-mom's name is Stacie as well. My sister, Bree also married a guy named Brian. My little brother's name is Bryan. So I have decided that in my family there is some unwritten rule that you have to marry someone with the same name as someone in the fam.
They decided to have a really quick and small ceremony because Stacey's Grandma isn't doing well. Okay so here are some pictures from the wedding. :)

Yay for clothes!!!!

A dear friend of mine took me shopping and bought me jeans, shirts,a dress and a jacket. She totally surprised me and i was truly blessed by her kindness. I was reminded of God's faithfulness. He has always provided my every need, whether great or small. I thought of these verses today:
"You cannot serve God and wealth. For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?
And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?
And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin,
yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.
But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!" Matthew 6:14-30

God is so good! Who am i to worry about my finances when he promises to provide my every need.


"Thank you Lord for the peace you give that surpasses all comprehension. If i am willing to cast all my cares on you, you promise to guard my heart from worry. I love you and am so thankful to be your child!!! AMEN! "


:) Jenaya

Peacefully Protesting Abortion...

Ryan invited me to go with him on Monday to planned parenthood to peacefully protest abortion through song and prayer. It's in my nature to protest things and i believe strongly in ending abortion, so I decided without a ton of thought to participate. Ryan had been there the previous week and had given me some amount of insight as to what to expect, but I was surprised at how it affected myself. When we got there a kind old man named Bud gave us signs to hold and had us sign a peaceful agreement form. For over an hour we prayed and sang songs. While we were petitioning God to end abortion we also worshiped and praised him in the process. Bud spoke so passionately about his desire to end this evil that has been transpiring legally for over 30 years in our country. He was sincerely heart broken for the unborn children that die everyday.

The Lord really helped me see his heart for these children and i was truly moved by Bud and his desire for abortion to end. He not only talked about how horrible it was, but he put in to action his beliefs and stood up for what is wrong. I was challenged to do the same and am thankful for the opportunity presented to me by Ryan and am glad that i accepted. If protesting is not something that is for you than i challenge you to do what is the most affective way to end abortion: pray fervently that the people in our country will see truly how heinous this is and how it is not some thing that should be supported. Pray for mothers who are contemplating the decision that God would send someone to help them, Pray that the doctors and workers that enable abortions would see how wrong it truly is. Ultimately God is the one who will change this and he asks us to pray.

" If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."
2 Chronicles 7:14

The treasure principal.

Sorry for the lack of blogs lately, I could say that I've been busy but we all know that is a lie. :)
The truth is I really haven't had that much going on. Well I just started this book by Randy Alcorn called the Treasure Principal and I wanted to share and excerpt from it.

"When Jesus warns us not to store up treasures on earth it's not because wealth might be lost; it's because wealth will always be lost. Either it leaves us while we live, or we leave it when we die. No excpeptions.
Imagine you're alive at the end of the civil war. You're in the South, but you are a Northerner. You plan to move home as soon as the war is over. While in the South you've accumulated lots of Confederate currency. Now, suppose you know for a fact that the North is going to win the war and the end is imminent. What will you do with your confederate money?
If your smart there's only one answer. You should immediately cash in your confederate currency for the U.S. currency- the money that will have value onve the war is over. Keep only enough to meet your short-term needs.
As a Christian, you have inside knowledge of an eventual upheaval caused by Christ's return. This is the ultimate insider trading tip: Earth's currency will become worthless when Christ's returns-or when you die, which ever comes first. (And either event could happen at any time.)"

I really enjoyed his analogy to the civil war. It would seem silly not to trade the confederate currency for the U.S. currency. If you didn't you be a very foolish person. But so often I don't but my treasures in heaven where it will last but in the temporal things of this world. I was challenged this morning as i was reading this to change the way i view money. The money that i have like Alcorn says will leave me. So I am going to try from now to think of my treasures in heaven because that is what lasts.
Well thanks for listening.
:) Jenaya

the days of an unemployed bum....

"God does not expect sucess he expects faithfullness"
-Mark Canady

The speaker at my Ecola reunion said this and it just stuck with me. I think that it pretty much explains the last couple of weeks. I think sometimes you think that you have to be a success at life but God just wants you to be faithful to him and he will guide you. That doesn't always mean that he will guide you into a prosperous lifestyle in the way of money. Okay off my soap box for now.
I did get a job offer for a deli/coffee shop but it is only twenty hours a week. So we will see what happens.

So since being umemployed i haven't had a ton of excitment. In consequence i haven't had anything to write about. I did move in with my grandma which to say the least is an adventure.
Well until next time.

:) Jenaya

My week without words...

Chantal's Poem for Me

Jenaya

She likes good coffee
Her hats is so floppy.
She wears all those bright colors,
It might scare your mothers.
Always reading a novel.
She thinks knick-knacks are awful.
She's a genius I bet,
Done with word scramble yet?
Her best friend is Jesus.
She have no diseases,
At least that I know of.
If you do something well,
She will give you a pat.
Just don't let her know if
You get rid of your cat.

My friend Chantal Bassham wrote this for me to cheer me up. I hope you enjoy it. She's quite talented!!! :)

Trusting that God has it covered...

Today my boss "let me go..." Basically i got fired. Which kinda sucks. But through it all i am confident that God knows what is going on waaaaay better than i do. My job has been the source of stress in my life. Quitting has been on my mind for weeks.
God pushed me into the right decision, he knew that i was finished at my job and he made the choice easy. I am so thankful for a God who directs me in all i do.
God has always challenged me to trust him with every hardship in my life. Every time i have a worry it comes down to trust. First that i trust that my Lord is omniscient, second that he is good, and lastly putting that knowledge into practice. Today i was reminded that every good thing comes from God. "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights in which their is no variation or shifting shadow." James 1:17. Not only does everything that is good comes from him but he never changes. Okay now i am becoming preachy. I just wanted to share God's amazing-ness with everyone. :)

:) Jenaya

My first blog... inspired by Ryan's quotes and encouraged by amy!!!

" I've always wanted to be a tall woman!"

-Ryan Wood

Okay so I have started a blog because i wanted to let the world hear the amazing quotes that Ryan says almost whenever I am around him.

But seriously I have enjoyed watching Ryan and Amy blogging. Amy encouraged or peer pressured me to start a blog. I'm not quite sure what I will write about.

p.s. This is Ryan and I staring eachother down. :)

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